Your band sucks

I’m sorry but you guys do. I know I told you different when I saw you guys playing at that bar the other night but I was lying and so was everyone else. I showed up as a favor to our mutual friend. The hot chick we’re both trying to get with. And so were the 12 other dudes who showed up to watch you play. Did you notice how no one showed up except your friends and family? That’s because you guys are not very good. If it makes you feel better, most local bands aren’t very good. Writing a song is hard. I know you think all of your songs are great and we’re just a stupid mainstream audience who doesn’t get it. You’re wrong. You don’t get it. And the inside jokes you told in between songs “This is a song we wrote after an incident in Mexico.” They didn’t make you look cool. And did you notice how half of your audience went to get a beer after the third song and never came back? Yup. Time to give up the dream. And that slow song you dedicated to the girl. Yeah, I’m going to stop now.

Advertisement